FROM SUPERHERO TO SUPER YOU
GETTING RID OF THE MASKS YOU HIDE BEHIND AND WHY YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR PAIN
Do you feel like you are superwoman or superman working at juggling everything but in reality you hide your weaknesses from the world in fear that people may actually figure out that you are a real person with real struggles?
Sharing your pain allows others to share their pain and to connect on a real and authentic level.
Do you feel you need to wear a mask to shelter who you really are from the world around you?
There was a time when I wore all kinds of masks and I refused to let the world around me have any understanding that I was struggling. I felt that allowing people to see that I faced hardship or struggles would be a sign of weakness and I didn’t want people to see me in that light.
I wore the mask and cape of invincibility. I thought I could handle and juggle all kinds of balls and that I was capable of being everything to everyone. I put on a brave face very day and donned my imaginary cape and pretended I was invincible and I could handle anything that life could throw my way. I convinced myself that if things needed to get done that I could do them on my own and I didn’t need to ask for help.
I wore the mask of know it all and I refused help in my health, my wellness and my finances because I thought I had all of the answers. This didn’t serve me and I kept spinning my wheels, never getting ahead.
I wore the mask of higher learning and education and I focused all of my efforts on work and wearing the badge of education and degrees to define who I was. This transitioned into career based aspirations; I was a career focused woman driven to succeed and to be a leader, but I was sacrificing my time, my own health and the time with my kids which was what mattered most.
I wore the mask of perfectionism and I would strive for perfection and was hard on myself if I felt my efforts didn’t match my potential.
I wore the mask of safety, playing small in my life and staying stuck in my comfort zone. It was much easier to collect my teaching salary, work towards having a pension and be the steady eddy teacher than the entrepreneur as I didn’t feel that was who I was.
I never wanted anyone to know about any of the pain I was experiencing, from financial pain, to the pain of not living up to my own expectations of being a great mom, to the pain of trying to be everything to everyone, even though I wasn’t being true to myself in finding a path of purpose and living into my passion.
Can you relate? What masks do you wear?
WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO WEAR MASKS AND HIDE THE STRUGGLE AND PAIN YOU EXPERIENCE?
You put up walls and emotional shields as you are afraid of getting hurt.
You wear masks because of FEAR. Fear can be described as False Evidence Appearing Real. You create a story in your head about what will happen if you are open and authentic. You worry about what people will think, the opinions of others, and how you will be seen in society by sharing your pain.
I too felt that fear and I refused to let anyone see that I was hurting when in reality, the mask I was wearing was simply a shield to the heartache I was feeling inside.
If you are insecure, you might use your strength or power to dominate others and wear the mask of being a bully.
If you feel you have been wronged by someone or something in society, you might wear the mask of anger and lash out at the world.
If you are not wise with your money and you fear the perception of others, you might continue down a path of spending and debt accumulation to keep up appearances and a lifestyle you can’t afford.
If you are a poor communicator and you tend to not express your feelings, you hide behind the mask of being a joker or comedian to deflect the true feelings you have inside.
Why should you share your story and the weaknesses or pain you have experienced in life?
According to findings from new research published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association of Psychological Science, “What doesn’t kill us may make us stronger as a group……Our findings show that pain is a particularly powerful ingredient in producing bonding and cooperation between those who share painful experiences,” says psychological scientist and lead researcher Brock Bastian of the University of New South Wales in Australia. “The findings shed light on why camaraderie may develop between soldiers or others who share difficult and painful experiences.”
This common experience can create a TRIBE of like-minded people, who share common ground and who want to move in the direction of releasing the pain and finding a path to greater good.
Your story can have a positive impact on others. When you share your pain, you allow others to open up and share their struggles as well. This can be cathartic for both parties, and it allows people to connect on a real and authentic level. You get rid of your masks and you become REAL. People will also be able to learn about and get to know the real YOU.
It takes courage and bravery to share this pain, but you CAN DO IT and I can help you get there.
My mentor has been working with me on sharing my story from the heart and with the pain and struggles I have experienced in my journey. At first, I was very hesitant and resistant in sharing what I felt were deep dark secrets and weaknesses that I didn’t want my friends and family to be aware of. I didn’t want people to know that I felt like I was drowning and losing myself as I battled in my heart and mind between being a busy professional career woman and a mom, a wife, a fitness instructor and all the many masks I was wearing.
I didn’t want people to know that my husband and I had poured our hearts and souls into a business as well as a lot of our money, only to have it taken away in the blink of an eye with a business partner who I am glad to now be separated from. I didn’t want to admit that we had perhaps been a poor judge of character or that we were not successful in that endeavour.
I now understand that there are many other people in the world who have seen failure and hardship in similar ways and that I need to share this pain so others will learn and continue onto their own path of purpose and fulfilment in life. I am not alone.
Identifying your weaknesses or experiences that have been painful can allow you to find and step into your strengths and for those painful experiences to be a learning tool for you to move forward.
Sharing my struggles has allowed me to grow and stretch in ways I never imagined and it has helped me become a better leader, mom, wife and person in general.
Sharing your pain can bring you back to your purpose and to realign with your values and beliefs. When you are always wearing masks to protect yourself from experiencing the world as YOU, you are not awake to all of the possibilities and connected to the purpose you were meant for. You can finally awaken to what connects you to the work that sets your soul on fire and you can live with intention each and every single day.
You can move away from the stories that you have been telling the world that aren’t serving you, you can break free of the negative aspects of the painful memory or experience that you are holding on to in order to grow and stretch into the realm of possibility
How can YOU incorporate these skills into your life for greater clarity and purpose?
You can seek out new challenges and adventures to get out of your comfort zone.
You can view the tough times as a means to learn and grow.
You can be realistically optimistic when faced with stress.
You can choose to view the world through a positive frame of mind and be confident in your own strengths and abilities.
You can focus on what is in your control and not what is out of your control – then put a plan of action into place in order to accomplish your goals and aspirations.
You can manage the words you think and speak and the attitude that comes along with those words.
You can create reminders with keys words that fuel your flame and post them in your house and everywhere you can see them.
You can have a totem or token that reminds you of the power you have inside of you to be a leader, an influencer and a game changer. For me, my bracelets are like my wonder woman “shield” or body armour that I put on everyday, with key words that remind me to choose my words and actions each day.
You can learn from those who you identified as being resilient, strong and real and ask them out for a coffee and pick their brains to learn and grow.
You can surround yourself by those who lift you up and inspire you.
YOU CAN BE YOU, AS YOU ARE ENOUGH, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE SMART, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYDAY IN EVERY WAY YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.
I would love for you to spend some time and identify the masks you are currently wearing. Write down the pain you have suffered in your life and share even a part of that story if you aren’t ready for the whole thing, with one other person aloud and in person.
I want to see you smile, to laugh out loud, to love with all of your heart and to do the things that light you up inside and I am here to help you get there. Together we can lift each other up and when you are surrounded by a tribe of support and encouragement – you literally can FLY!
FROM SUPERHERO TO SUPER YOU
GETTING RID OF THE MASKS YOU HIDE BEHIND AND WHY YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR PAIN
