My life has had its fair share of ups and downs and painful experiences.
Your drive and motivation often stems from the avoidance of pain, and as a result, you can become complacent. This is where I was living my life just 7 short years ago.
I was teaching in a place that I thought I would spend the rest of my career at and it was a wonderful school with motivated and driven students, great amenities and really a teachers dream job. I was dedicated, hard working, driven and focused and I put in a lot of time and energy teaching and coaching.
I was comfortable and it was easy to stay “stuck” in that space with a good job, a safe environment for my kids to grow up in and I was able to provide financially and contribute to my family. I had a great husband, two amazing daughters, a golden retriever and a lovely house to live in. People looked at my life and assumed I had the world by the tail and all was good.
I was very good at appearing to be perfect and that I had everything together – my job was what defined me after all and what I had spent so much time, money and focus in my education to achieve.
I had also spent years working towards leadership and accreditation taking a diploma in leadership, coaching and mentorship to assume new roles, but I continually found myself being asked to do more because I was good at what I did and I always said yes and worked hard. I was told I wasn’t quite ready for the roles I strived to achieve and the only way to get there was to “do more”.
Have you ever found yourself in a place where when you are working as hard as you feel you possibly can and then someone adds another task to your already insurmountable list of things to do?
My husband had started a business and we were both in a place where we felt good about our situation in life, we both had good jobs and things were moving in the direction we wanted them to move.
Then we lost the business and all of the money we had invested into it. I was crushed and the stress and financial burden became very real. I felt like I was drowning in order to keep up with everything, and the only way I knew how to fix things was to work harder and take on more.
I buried my pain deep down inside and I didn’t share this with the world, as I was afraid I would look like a failure. I was very good at wearing masks.
I had lost myself and I was placing everyone else’s needs before my own. I worked harder, and harder and harder.
Have you ever felt like you had to keep treading water stuck in the same place just so you didn’t sink?
Have you ever felt that you were meant to do something bigger with your life than you currently are experiencing?
I had a bigger vision. I deserved more.
The breaking point came when my daughter – who was 6 at the time – wrote me a letter that asked: “when are you going to be my mom again?”
I finally knew it was time to make a change.
I felt like a failure as a mom and I didn’t know where to turn.